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T’was the night before Christmas
and all through your house
a creature was stirring and it wasn’t a mouse
It was a jack of all trades and a master of none,
a cowboy gas fitter a sparky to shun.
Using crooked cut boards and a squwif hung door,
an expert at nothing so there’s bound to be more.
Plumbing as poor as the other work done,
with unclipped pipe work improperly run .
And gas work too more unsafe than the rest,
a garden hose gas pipe; cause and effect!
As a sparky his work is poor at its best,
with no earth he’ll stop heart beats in your chest.
So cables run here and cables run there,
no sense of safety we should all say a prayer.
So when Santa arrived and saw all this crap,
He called in Advantis to make safe the death trap.
First was the gas then water and more,
the electrics and floors and the squwif hung door.
With tools of the trade not in hands of the dumb,
it’s easy to build stuff square, level and plumb.
With repairs all complete and the house now made good,
Advantis cleaned up as you’d expect that they should.
Now Santa could leave all the gifts and the presents,
in your house with lots of stress now prevented.
For the cowboys he wrote a note to them all,
and left nothing for them but a lump of black coal.
The note simply said get your shit sorted out,
stop ripping off folk who trust in your work.
It takes more effort to do wrong than it does to do right,
and saves you running away in the middle of the night.
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